A little girl says to her father, “Look at me Daddy, I’m a buttercup.” He replies, “Don’t be ranunculus.” And thus ends my segment of jokes for horticulturists. Relevant link (Wikipedia Ranunculus).
What does a gymnast put on her french fries in July? somersault (summer salt)
Did you hear about the spice dealer whose mother liked his convertible? He lent the cardamom.