A scientist has a lab that overlooks a park. In the park, he sees the worst mime he has ever seen. This mime flails around and is inconsistent about the objects he pretends to interact with. The scientist says to his team, “Find me the two most famous mimes in the world.”
Did you hear about the astronomer who showered with a tiny hamburger slider?
He upgraded to a quarter pound burger because wanted a “meatier shower”.
If I were named Mervin, I would start a podcast where I explore the wisdom of Benjamin Franklin.
It would be called, “Franklin Sense and Merv”.
Did you hear about train with the tiny coal car that fell off the tracks? “Are you okay?”, asked the engine. “I didn’t break anything but I am a little tender.” photo credit: Bricknave via photopin cc
Why does Captain Hook wear sneakers? Because he’s afraid of Crocs.
What kind of bagels do they serve on airlines? Plain Bagels (plane bagels) In truth, this is not my original joke but my 5 year old son’s; however, since he is my son and the joke is his, could this still be my joke by the transitive property? photo credit: Campobello Island via photopin cc
A little girl says to her father, “Look at me Daddy, I’m a buttercup.” He replies, “Don’t be ranunculus.” And thus ends my segment of jokes for horticulturists. Relevant link (Wikipedia Ranunculus).
What does a gymnast put on her french fries in July? somersault (summer salt)
Did you hear about the spice dealer whose mother liked his convertible? He lent the cardamom.