I want to get a cow and name it Jagger. Then I’m going to walk around mooing and when people ask me what I’m doing…
Robert Preston visits Reading PA
Joke: Did I ever tell you about the time I got to welcome Robert Preston to a baseball game in Reading, PA? I was there to greet him when he got out of his limo and I asked him, “Who is your favorite minor league ball team?” and he replied, “Fightins, star greeter.”
You’re Lucky to Have Special K
At breakfast, I told my son, “You’re lucky to have Special K cereal for breakfast.”
Brady Bunch Achievement
The “Brady Bunch Achievement” is when you have exactly nine people on a video call. When this happens, viewing all participants in a grid looks like the intro to the Brady Bunch.
Dad, your math metaphors are awful. My response, “What’s meta 2 plus meta 2 ?”
Why did the Unicycle Win the Race Against the Bicycle?
Why did the unicycle win the race against the bicycle? The bicycle was two tired. But what about the Corvette?
A Mime Walks into a Bar
This joke is best told out loud, A mime walks into a bar and says… (then pause) and keep pausing. Eventually, the listener either laughs or shakes their head and walks away.
A Scientist says, “Find me the most famous mimes in the world”
A scientist has a lab that overlooks a park. In the park, he sees the worst mime he has ever seen. This mime flails around and is inconsistent about the objects he pretends to interact with. The scientist says to his team, “Find me the two most famous mimes in the world.”
Astronomer who showered with a hamburger
Did you hear about the astronomer who showered with a tiny hamburger slider?
He upgraded to a quarter pound burger because wanted a “meatier shower”.
If I Were Named Mervin
If I were named Mervin, I would start a podcast where I explore the wisdom of Benjamin Franklin.
It would be called, “Franklin Sense and Merv”.